Snippets of Pain

Change can cause anxiety and be painful, both physically and mentally. Believe me I know. Lately I’ve been experiencing both. It amazes me how I’ve continued to move forward although emotionally I’ve been in a holding pattern. The physical pain comes and goes in waves. Oddly enough it’s become a part of my existence. Honestly, I don’t know how I would function without it. My emotions on the other hand are not as welcomed. The anxiety attached to my emotional pain is overwhelming at times causing me to shutdown.

Shutting down does not mean I pause or completely stop, instead I occupy my time with frivolous, unproductive things, instead of coming up with a solution or seeking assistance. Needless to say this hasn’t worked and has only caused more frustration. The one positive I’ve discovered is it has forced me to accept the help that has been offered.

The lessons I am learning during this time are helping me blossom into a new me. I’ve learned seeking and accepting assistance is a good thing, procrastinating only leads to more stress, respect the process, and don’t look back it’s overcrowded and I need room to breath. I may not feel like my best self but I’m working toward looking like her. I’m moving to another level of comfort, expanding my comfort zone. The growing pains hurt but in the long run they will assist me with upgrading myself. You know MJSpeaks 2.0. The new version after being sharpened, fashioned for my crown.

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